I hear it all the time “that’s my love language!” Ever find yourself wondering ‘what’s my love language?’ Well here they are, the 5 languages of love. Don’t worry I’m not talking French or Italian and it shouldn’t all be Greek to you, once you have seen them listed and explained.
When it comes to expressing ourselves we each have our own idioms. What can feel intrinsic to us, is actually shared among millions. Understanding your love language and the love language of others can go a long way in clearing the discrepancies in any relationship. Whether that be between parent and child, friends, lovers, partners or family members. According to Gary Chapman, in his book “The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts”, the five languages of love are:
Quality Time
It’s good to note that although it feels like it should be a given at the moment, being with each other day in day out is NOT quality time. Make sure you define what this is with one another. They may feel giving up their lunch hour on busy work days is the highest quality to offer. What means a lot to one means less to some! But none of us are mind readers. For me quality time can be short bursts of 5 – 10 minutes; walking hand in hand or simply chatting about random things just for the sake of talking together.
Words Of affirmation
You might know you love them, but feelings need to be shared either in spoken or written word. If you feel embarrassed or shy to say how you feel out loud, why not find a card with a pre-written message that best depicts how you feel. And remember if you’re all about loving out loud, make sure to understand not everyone shares that same ability.
Gifting
The assumption often is that gifts are always bought. But for a lot of people in love ‘gift’ often means something treasured; like flowers picked on a first date or a shell from a romantic trip to the beach. For many it’s an acknowledgement of the other person, letting them know that you hear them, feel them and think of them. If you are someone who needs gifts remember not all gifts are physical. What you need to hold in your hand or treasure in a memory box or scrap book, they maybe dream of every night. These dreams and thoughts they may only be able to gift you in spoken affirmations, during quality time spent together.
Acts Of Service
Are you a people pleaser, who loves to do things for others? Or maybe you love to be doted on and adored. What you see as just the washing up another may deem their worst chore and therefore an act of love saving you from having to endure the annoyance of dirty dishes. If you are someone that likes to serve, be careful that you are not spending all your time working away, especially if your significant other is someone that needs quality time!
Physical Touch
We are all raised differently when it comes to physical acts of love. Some of us feel shy and embarrassed when it comes to PDA and physically interacting with others. Conversely many of us are very tactile and interact physically, with great ease. The following are all great ways to physically show your love:
•Hugs
•Massage
•Holding hands
•Linking arms
•Sitting close together
•Brushing hair
•Sharing food
It’s good to also remember that your love language is not only how you love others but also how you love yourself!
What’s your love language? Tell us in the comments below.
Lots of love,
Berrit x
