It still hasn’t sunk in that we’re finalists in the ‘Inspire’ category of the #BiBs2019 awards. Especially so when I think back to where and how this all began!
Once Upon A Time…
I was an out of work retail manager, anxiously pregnant with my first rainbow baby. Out of work because I’d lost my job just months before after having a miscarriage on company time! I know lame right? But so normal for retail. As I delved into blogging turns out so, normal for lots of mums and couples dealing with loss and holding down a profession in most industries.
Life After Loss
My pregnancy with Theon was a very lonely time for me. I’ve spoken a lot about how I sat like a chicken on an egg, desperately willing everything to be ok, whilst nervously trying to prepare for everything to crash down on us again. It was a HUGE low point for me. On top of the miscarriage and losing my job, I had already suffered an ectopic pregnancy in a previous relationship, I was what was considered a ‘geriatric’ mum and hours away from my nearest relative. It totally felt like all higher power was working against us.
What powered me through was the idea that THIS baby, this baby would make us a family and that he’d be the life line I needed back into the real world. I envisaged myself being a strong gnarly vivacious tiger mama, but with the airs and social grace of a butterfly, bouncing around with my sweet boy from one baby mama event to the next. The reality stung like a cold, wet slap around the face!
New mum life was messy, icky, hazey, crazy and lonely oh so fucking lonely! No sooner had G taken a second to smell the top of the baby’s head and make me a cuppa, he was pulled back to work! As a couple we often talk about the second day of Theon being home and my dad coming to take my mum back so that we could get on with parenting and settling in to our new life. As they left G and I slumped onto the couch and simultaneously began to cry. Turning to each other we both just mouthed
“what do we do now!?”
And then we laughed and took solace in knowing we were both feeling the same.
What we rarely talk about is the day he went back to work and the moment the front door closed. It was just me and the baby. We, (the baby and I) sobbed uncontrollably until that front door re-opened and G returned from work, and that was our life for at least another six month. Until something, I don’t know what, but something just clicked. I opened my laptop and I started writing, sharing, sourcing, searching, commenting, following, reviewing and slowly lots of small little snippets of content slotted themselves into place and formed our blog: ‘booBerrit’. All about my boo and me, Berrit (my childhood, family pet name).
Next came the met ups and campaigns. Slowly lots of the little people in my phone formed into real life humans and life long friends. I realised postpartum loneliness was not a phenomenon it’s a passage that nearly all mothers, (often slightly broken) crawl through! But that didn’t make it sit better for me as soon as I realised just how many mums must be out there alone, lost, anxious I wanted to find them and connect. I began organising ‘Don’t #keepmum‘ events; free events for families to meet and learn new skills together.
And They All Lived Happily Ever After…
3 years on (almost to the day), sat in a tent in France, discussing and loosely planning the next free event I got a DM from a blogger friend of mine; telling us we’d been nominated for a BiBs inspire award! And that’s where I’m going to have to stop this article as I still don’t have the words (not without tears and snot bubbles anyway), to express how chuffed we are to be honoured with such a nomination!… Just please vote!
Berrit & The Boos xxxx
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