We all have to call on the fourth emergency service (friends & family), from time to time. This toddler mum managed six days, single parenting before I had to call in the troupes. I needed back up before I completely lost my shit! Props to those that have no choice but to go it alone and soldier on. Not to make excuses but losing your shit is perfectly normal. As toddler mums (and dads) it’s a constant battle trying not to feel more like the Wicked Witch of the West than the perfect, Disney Fairy Godmother! Here’s why.
Running On Fumes
One of the worst aspects of being a parent to a toddler is the fact that ‘they‘ never seem to need to refuel. Where as you seem to always be trying to squeeze that extra mile out of gas vapour. I hate to smack you in the face with the blatantly obvious. I know this will not be anything you don’t already know. Yet maybe you need to hear it. No one, (not you, me or an olympic athlete) can run on empty. You need to facilitate sleep! We all do fudged up shizer when we’re sleep deprived. Screaming like a banshee is going to be the least of your problems if you don’t schedule a snooze. So, no matter how belligerent or shy you are to ask, if you need help, demand it! Call on your nearest and dearest. Book in with your GP, for referral if need be. Check online for local tot friendly activities and play groups. Go to .Gov to see what you’re entitled to, a lot of threenagers can access up to 15 hrs of free child care. Failing that go to your nearest library’s rhyme time and take a sit up snooze, behind one of their books. While you “read” your sleep terrorist will burn off some energy singing and dancing. Not talking from experience or anything!
Competition & Social Pressure
This month my feeds have been non stop, ram packed with advice on how to use your indoor voice with your little one(s). Non stop brain punching, heart wrenching, guilt inducing blurbs about how we should be, why our kids scream and how it’s all…our…fault. And you know what it is our fault! It’s our fault our kids are expressive, want to push and try boundaries, are bright enough to flex with us and are happy to be themselves no matter where they are. Well done you for getting out of bed even though your bones hurt, the weathers poop and your life is like a less funnier version of Groundhog Day!
Whether you love her or loathe her, you may never admit this in public, but you either want to be just like her or nothing like her at all! And this over riding fear of failing can taint everything you do! Let it go and just do you, the best you can.
An Over Kill Of Self Discipline
We’ve all fallen fowl to it; high expectations. Setting off on our journeys with Pinterest perfect plans on parenting. Only to turn to sugar bribes for a 5 minute peace treaty, extended screen time and opting for the easy route when you know you’ve a clear picture (in your mind) of the boundaries you wish to set. But in reality how often do you keep to them, have you even laid them out or even discussed them with your partner, other guardians or anyone you might co-parent with? Because sometimes just discussing your own limitations and understanding how maybe your ideals are not realistic enough can take away the disappointment we all get from failing to achieve the high markers we set for ourselves and our tots. Much worse than sugar, bribery or Elmo on repeat is feeding those low moments when you just don’t feel good enough. Know that you are. Be reassured we are ALL in the same rocky boat, trying our darned hardest and failing more often than not. What really matters is that you gave enough of a shit to worry about losing your shit.
So, just incase you feel you’ve lost all shits to give, here’s a spare one you can have, feel free to lose it when ever the need arises!